Services For men
All WMRSASC services are available to male survivors who have experienced any form of rape sexual violence and / or exploitation at any time in their life, and to their supporters and non-abusing family members.
WMRSASC recognises that male survivors often face different barriers in seeking support, we know that it can be difficult to come forward and ask for help. WMRSASC offers a safe, confidential and non-judgemental place for male survivors to access support, working with individuals at their own pace.
We offer independent advocacy, practical and emotional support through our Independent Sexual Violence Advocacy (ISVA) services which are specifically tailored to support men and boys, and can offer a choice of gender of support worker. We also have face to face and online Counselling services and, again, if a male support worker is preferred this can be arranged. For those who have experienced any form of or are at risk of exploitation, we can offer support through our Branch Project services.
For more information, visit Our Services
To access our services please click here
Unhelpful myths about the sexual assault and rape of men
Myth
Men cannot be sexually assaulted by women.
Reality
Although the majority of sexual assaults of men are committed by men, women can and do sexually assault men.
Myth
Men can’t be raped or sexually assaulted.
Reality
Men can be and are sexually assaulted. Any man can be sexually assaulted regardless of size, strength, appearance, age, occupation, race or sexual identity.
Myth
Erection or ejaculation during sexual assault means you “really wanted it” or consented to it.
Reality
Erection or ejaculation are physiological responses that can be induced through manipulation and pressure on the prostate. Some people who commit sexual assault are aware how erections and ejaculations can confuse a man, and this motivates them to manipulate their body and penis to the point of erections or ejaculation. They also can use this manipulation as a way to increase their feelings of control and to discourage reporting of the offence. Developing an erection or ejaculating does not indicate that a man wanted or enjoyed the assault, nor does it say anything about sexual identity (e.g. if a man develops an erection when a cat sits on his lap, it doesn’t mean he is interested in sex with cats!). See our page on Men and Arousal.
Myth
Most rapists are strangers.
Reality
Most men know the person who assaults them in some way. Often, he/she is well known to them. They may be a friend, neighbour, boss, or relative, father, uncle, mother, aunt, brother, sister, partner, or ex-partner. They may be a professional or tradesperson such as a doctor, teacher, trainer, psychiatrist, police officer, clergy, group leader or public servant.
Myth
Men who sexually assault can’t control their sexuality.
Reality
People can control their sexual desires if they want to, however strong they might be. No “desire” gives anyone the right to violate and abuse another person. Far from being caused by lack of control, many sexual assaults are pre-planned and involve considerable abuse of power and control.
Myth
Men who are raped are damaged and scarred for life.
Reality
Men can and do survive sexual assault, physically and emotionally, and go on to live full lives, enjoying rewarding relationships as friends, partners or parents. Although sexual assault can have a profound impact on men, they can and do find a way through and live the kind of life they would like. The media and many professional publications concentrate on stories of damage, recounting horror stories of what happened and the associated problems, without providing equal time to detail how men get on with their lives.
Myth
Only gay men are sexually assaulted.
Reality
Any man can be raped, whether he identifies as straight, gay, bi, transgender or fluid sexuality. Rape is an act of force or coercion where someone’s personal choice is ignored. Just as being robbed does not tell you anything about someone’s sexuality, neither does rape.
Myth
It is gay men who sexually assault other men.
Reality
Most men who sexually assault other men identify themselves as straight. The myth is a legacy of societal homophobia and a habit developed over the past century of seeing participation in a sexual act as a sign of a person’s sexual identity. The focus on questions of sexuality stops attention being placed on the manipulation, violence, coercion or control used to perpetrate sexual abuse.
Myth
I asked for it – He asked for it.
Reality
Sexual assault is a sexual act perpetrated without full and free consent. It doesn’t matter where you go, who you choose to spend your time with, how you dress or act, it does not make you responsible for being sexually assaulted. Agreement to engage in an intimate sexual encounter does not mean you agree to anything and everything. It is within your rights to ‘NO’ at any time – even whilst in the middle of penetrative sex. This myth is supported by society’s tendency to question and blame the person who is assaulted, which in turn can invite self-questioning and self-blame. It is the responsibility of all persons involved in sexual contact to ensure that there is full and free consent at all times.
Myth
Some people physically can’t commit rape.
Reality
A person’s physical strength, sex, sexual potency and sexual preference does not affect their ability to rape. Sexual assault can be committed through coercion or manipulation, by using fingers or objects such as sticks, marker pens or bottles. Rape is not all about physical force: young people and old people do sexually assault young and old people.
Myth
Sexual assault and rape in gay couples does not exist.
Reality
Rape in same sex relationships does occur, just as rape in straight relationships occurs. Through physical, psychological or emotional coercion, some men are forced by their partners to engage in unwanted sexual acts. The fact that the man has been in a longstanding sexual relationship with his partner does not remove his right to say ‘NO!’. Unfortunately, many men within the gay community are reluctant to come forward and name a sexual assault out of an understandable fear that they will not receive appropriate care and support. This again highlights how the problem of sexual assault of men is compounded by societal homophobia.
Myth
Men who have been sexually assaulted will go on to perpetrate sexual assault.
Reality
The majority of men who experience sexual violence do not perpetrate abuse or assault (they are horrified by such a suggestion). This is one of the most difficult myths for men: it can make men very reluctant to talk about experiences of rape or sexual abuse. There is no evidence to suggest an automatic route from experiencing abuse to going on to commit sexual offences. However, particular experiences (additional to sexual abuse) and models of masculinity are associated with an increased risk of someone perpetrating abuse.
The trouble with these myths…
The trouble with these unhelpful beliefs is that they:
- Make it harder for men to talk about an experience of sexual assault.
- Make it harder for men to find support.
- Make it harder for men to report an offence to police.
- Make it harder to prosecute someone who commits a sexual assault.
You can help dispel these unhelpful beliefs.
Acknowledgements: Created with reference to the Living Well webpage and the South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault web page ‘Myths about male rape.’
Additional Services And Resources for male survivors
Safeline - Male Survivor Helpline and Online Support Service
A dedicated service for men and boys in England and Wales affected by sexual violence and abuse and those who support them. Click here for more information.
Male Survivors Partnership
A network of organisations working with male victims/survivors of sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploitation. Also provides links to national and local support services for anyone looking for specialist help. Click here for more information.
Survivors UK
Survivors UK is a service dedicated to the provision of a supportive, accessible, respectful, service to men who have experienced child sexual abuse or sexual assault, to their partners, friends, family, and service providers. The Survivors UK website provides a wide range of useful information and seeks to create, encourage, and maintain men’s health and well-being in relation to self and others. Visit Survivors UK by clicking here.
Galop
Galop (previously known as Broken Rainbow) supports LGBT+ people who are victims of domestic abuse, sexual violence, hate crime, so-called conversion therapies, honour-based abuse, forced marriage, and other forms of abuse. Galop also provide a national helpline for LGBT+ victims and survivors of abuse and violence. Click here for more information.