I WAS gazing aimlessly into a shop window when I suddenly became aware of a man hurtling towards me, waving and smiling widely.
‘Hello mate’ the stranger said as he dropped to his knees in front of me, ‘aren’t you gorgeous?’.
At this point it became apparent that he was talking to the dog, not me.
Head ruffling, ear pulling and chest rubbing ensued (again, the dog, not me), a swift pat on the rump (still the dog or this would be a very different article) and the stranger moved on.
He didn’t ask if it was OK or if the dog is friendly (he is but I fluctuate). He just assumed it was OK because that was what he wanted to do.
Now I may be a little biased, and he is a very handsome dog, he does attract a lot of attention, so much so that we probably should have called him Carlsberg.
This encounter, which is one of many, left me wondering what would have happened if the dog had reacted and bitten him?
Would he have lashed out? Kicked him? How angry would he have been? Who would he have blamed?
Would this man have even considered that he should have checked first, if his attention would be welcome, or that he should have had consent?
That just because you want to touch something doesn’t mean that you should.
This brief encounter set me to thinking about how much touching happens without consent.
Pregnant women frequently report random people touching their bellies, babies appear to be fair game as strangers lean into prams and pushchairs and touch and coo at them.
Women and girls constantly touched and harassed on the street, in workplaces and in public, not to mention in pubs and clubs.
If you speak to any woman, she will be able to tell you about being groped, bottoms, breasts and everything else touched without consent.
It is a constant occurrence throughout women’s lives, and we are expected to shrug it off and accept it.
We tell each other and teach our children to just ignore it — because we often fear and experience the consequences if we bite back.
It simply isn’t safe to do so.
But some people that approach me and the dog ask, ‘is it OK to say hello?’ or ‘is it OK to stroke him?’.
They wait before launching at him, it gives us all time to agree or not and no one is taken by surprise or upset.
Just think how much safer and nicer the world would be if everyone asked for consent before touching.
All donations for the charity are gratefully received at www.wmrsasc.org.uk