It’s Never Too Late To Get Support

Latest from West Mercia Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre

It’s never too late to get support

Often, when we talk about sexual violence, the focus is on children and young people.

What is rarely reported is the impact of sexual violence on older clients.

Speaking up about sexual violence is never easy and we hope any news coverage makes it easier for people to come forward and seek support, whatever their age.

In the last 12 months we have had over 200 new referrals for clients over 56 years of age and more than 40 of them were over 65.

Some of our clients may have lived a lifetime of abuse with others having experienced it more recently.

The trauma of being assaulted at one of the most vulnerable ages in your life cannot be underestimated.

Some will be mothers, fathers, grandparents and some will experience abuse by their own children, partners, professionals or within a care home.

Age is no protection from abuse and does not prevent perpetrators from abusing.

Age can be isolating, it can be a barrier to accessing support – older clients are often faced with comments like ‘it’s all in the past’, ‘you should be over it by now’ or ‘time heals all wounds’.

But time heals nothing, recovery from abuse has no expiration date and everyone’s experience is different.

Recovery comes through being heard, understood and believed. 

There are some clients you work with that will be forever etched in your memory – one of mine is a fabulous woman who was in her 80s when I met her.

She had been sexually abused as a child and raped as a teenager.

The woman contacted the centre because she wanted to tell someone about it before she died.

She had endured a lifetime of silence, she could not speak out because she felt shame, she didn’t think she would be believed and felt her family would have blamed her.

The woman feared being seen as ‘damaged goods’. 

She said she had lived a good life, got married and had children but she always carried the abuse with her at her core, a ‘dark secret’, something she couldn’t share with the people she loved.

She did not want to burden her children, she didn’t want them to look at her differently, but she needed someone to hear her, believe her and to know that it was not her fault.

No one asks for or deserves to be abused.

The only person who is to blame and is responsible is the perpetrator.   

We didn’t work together for long but when she left, she said she felt lighter, relieved but also sad about how the abuse had changed her life.

She wished she had asked for help sooner. 

Our team is trained to work with all forms of sexual violence and abuse and to support survivors of all ages.

It is never too late to be heard and to start to heal so if an older person discloses something to you believe them, respect their experience and help them seek support.

For more help on getting support visit: www.wmrsasc.org.uk. 

To read the full Worcester News article click here.